Recipe for Roast Gnome

Capt Cliff · Post by **Capt Cliff** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 2:22 pm

There have been a number of request for a recipe for roasted gnome. Does anybody out there have any suggestions?

*immediately dives under computer console ....*

viobane · Post by **viobane** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 2:27 pm

Beldin's ears prick up at the call for roast gnome.

"I think I mentioned a combination of garlic and pepper ad being a good recipe," he pauses for a moment with a confused look on his face that involves a lot of opening and closing of his mouth along with a slightly twitching eyebrow. "Wait... Did you say a recipe for roast gnome?!? Maybe I shouldn't be helping out with that... Although anything with garlic and pepper is okay in my book."

He walks away licking his lips softly singing a song containing the words "gnome's nose."

ValentianNizzle · Post by **ValentianNizzle** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 2:35 pm

With this, we have sunk to new lows. Although, I'm not at all opposed to the idea of eating a Gnome.

BabydollJennifer · Post by **BabydollJennifer** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 6:26 pm

As with any lesser quality meat, slow roasting is best.

Start with a clean gnome (this is the toughest part)

Then proceed to rub with a mixture of garlic, pepper and
course ground salt.
The amount of salt depends on the experience of the gnome.
The more exp he has the more salty he will be naturally,
so hence the need for less salt.

Outdoor pit roasting is the preferred method.
Add some root veggiesÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦ potatoes, carrots, turnips, onions
a couple of hours before the gnome is done.
Add mushrooms about half an hour before cooking is finished.

Start early, invite a few of your barbarian friends
and serve with a lot of ale!

Fenrip · Post by **Fenrip** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 6:56 pm

Just for clarification ---

Is this best with the armor on or off?

Thank you.

Chiffawn2 · Post by **Chiffawn2** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 7:05 pm

*speaks up loudly in the group of cooks* Just for clarification ... uhm.... gnomes with an "i" in their names are particularly poisonous to most palates and can cause headache, sinusitis, scabies, giant eyeball and of course the dreaded back door trots.

*looks at Beldin and whispers* Well, I hope that saves your hide and Poppi's if she ever returns.

BabydollJennifer · Post by **BabydollJennifer** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 7:18 pm

Removing the armor is part of the cleaning process,
so armor off.

The armor can then be made into a lovely center piece
to display during the feast and then be given to one of
your friends to take home as a memento.

dm_demitri · Post by **dm_demitri** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 10:12 pm

If the gnome happens to be clad in platemail instead, then such armor (once cleaned and prepared) may be used to serve gnome in the half shell.

This particular style is best roasted as suggested above and served drizzled with hollandaise sauce.

Thanatos · Post by **Thanatos** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 10:34 pm

In theory, maybe after giving a good scrub down, the armor should be put back on...pit roasting works well when the meat is in tin foil. Perhaps a light armor could be applied to hold the heat in and cook it better

viobane · Post by **viobane** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 10:52 pm

Beldin walks by the great oak and notices a crowd has gathered. The gathering looks at him as one. Those without helms appear to be licking and smacking their lips. One woman reaches into a pouch at her side and pulls out two cloves of garlic. A warrior starts sharpening a carving knife. A creature with leathery wings starts shaking a container marked, "SALT."

He waves at the crowd, yet no one waves back. He looks behind himself to see if they are looking at someone else, but a roll of tumbleweed flies past.

Lukas_Mandingo · Post by **Lukas_Mandingo** » Sun Mar 18, 2007 10:15 pm

ROAST GNOME!

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!!! I CANT BELIEVE YOU PEOPLE ARE EVEN THINKING ABOUT EATING US GNOMES! NO BETTER THE GOBLINS IF YOU ASK ME!

ValentianNizzle · Post by **ValentianNizzle** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 10:57 am

Lukas_Mandingo wrote:ROAST GNOME! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!!! I CANT BELIEVE YOU PEOPLE ARE EVEN THINKING ABOUT EATING US GNOMES! NO BETTER THE GOBLINS IF YOU ASK ME!

No one asked you.

.Stinky Pete. · Post by **.Stinky Pete.** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 11:17 am

Stinky Pete, a large, most civilized troll approaches the assembled group and states, "The good sir Mandingo is quite correct when he states that it is quite incredulous that this discussion is even taking place."

All eyes turn to him as he adds, "I can attest, with the most veracity, that gnomes are indeed no better than goblins. Both are tough, stringy, and can be chewed for days to no avail."

"Should you ever be forced to consume either, cubing the meat is best. Preferrably small cubes that can be swallowed whole so as not to suffer the taste or texture."

With a nod of his head, he turns and leaves through a portal that disappears as he does.

Capt Cliff · Post by **Capt Cliff** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 2:09 pm

.Stinky Pete. wrote:Stinky Pete, a large, most civilized troll approaches the assembled group and states, "The good sir Mandingo is quite correct when he states that it is quite incredulous that this discussion is even taking place."

All eyes turn to him as he adds, "I can attest, with the most veracity, that gnomes are indeed no better than goblins. Both are tough, stringy, and can be chewed for days to no avail."

"Should you ever be forced to consume either, cubing the meat is best. Preferrably small cubes that can be swallowed whole so as not to suffer the taste or texture."

With a nod of his head, he turns and leaves through a portal that disappears as he does.

ALL RIGHT! Enough is enough ... it's quite obvious the roasting a gnome won't work! How about stewed gnome?

.Stinky Pete. · Post by **.Stinky Pete.** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 3:27 pm

I'm pretty sure it would be similar to pickled dwarf.

Ask the nearest bartender.