Heddo, me name Ooglee Hillsmasher.
Mama was kidlen...kiddnaap....kdnpiad...shoot...her was taken from Skary Bray when she were 16 by Hillsmasher tribe. Dey kept her for de nex' few years 'til she were a full-growned women. Den de big cheese (dat my daddy) married her an' den a big bird wit' a wit' a long nose brung me to dem.
Mama cried for two weeks when me was borneded, an' Daddy say, "Dat one ooglie Hillsmasher!" Dat's how me get me name.
Nobody in tribe wanna marry me; dey tell me to leave right now or else dey tie me to stake in middle of road by old crypt (it smell like old dirty feet in dere) and let boogins get me. Me not like boogins too well, so me leave.
Me use big longpoled axe to hurt tings dat try to hurt me. If dey no try to hurt me, I no hurt dem back.
Mos' peeples are nice to mes. I like peeples, but not like boogins......or spinach.
Heddo
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